


the first time

by watergator



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Era (Phandom), M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 02:27:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20202226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watergator/pseuds/watergator
Summary: dan and phil have sex for the first time and dan realises what it feels like to feel safe





	the first time

When they finally get to Phil’s room, Dan feels like he’s maybe hit his head and gone to heaven.

But he hasn’t. His brain is fine, aside from the short fusing it seems to be doing every few minutes as he’s reminded that he’s in the bedroom of  _ the _ AmazingPhil.

Of course, he’d never say that out loud, already too aware of how weird and awkward that would sound like. He’s spent the better half of the year getting Phil to like him enough to invite him over in the first place, and he’s determined not to fuck that up when he’s got this far.

In fact, he’s most  _ definitely _ sure not to fuck it up, especially since he’d been the one to kiss him on the Manchester Eye just hours ago.

And Phil hasn’t really said much about anything just yet.

He has a flurry of angry butterflies in his stomach as he watches Phil. He’s said something about setting up a movie on his laptop and watching it in bed, and all Dan can think about it how he feels like he’s messed everything up already.

Despite all the swirling feelings of self hatred and guilt and the feeling of failure, he really cannot get over the way Phil’s lips felt against his. He cannot stop thinking about how good it had felt to lean forward, close his eyes and feel the gap between them on that tiny little pod grow smaller and smaller until he felt soft lips against his own.

He wants it again. He knows he wants it again. The kiss had only lasted a few short seconds, but it was enough time to get him addicted to wanting more.

Phil had pulled away with a giggle and a blush and had bumped knees with him as they’d awkwardly looked out to the view they were supposed to be admiring. 

But Dan didn’t want to admire Manchester; he only wanted to look at Phil.And now that they were here, in Phil’s house, alone, just them, he was hoping he’d get another chance to explore that feeling. Chase that want.

But Phil had been quiet and untelling - which Dan didn’t like. He liked being able to understand Phil best he could given their short span of knowing one another. And now he was unable to read what he was thinking and he felt kind of useless about it.

Phil gets the movie on the laptop set up, and turns to Dan to smile at him.

“Wanna watch?”

Dan stands there, insides crawling. 

He just nods at first.

“Sure,” he croaks.

Phil jumps onto the bed and presses himself up against the wall, making more than enough room for Dan to shuffle over and share the other side.

He gets himself comfortable, and Phil hits play.

He tries to concentrate on the movie, trying to pretend that the movie pictures on the screen are more than that - but he can’t for the life of him follow along on what’s going on.

All he can think about is how Phil’s leg is pressed up tight against his, and how he can hear Phil’s breathing beside him.

Dan stays perfectly still, like he might die if he moves, and trains his sight directly into the screen as if to fool Phil that he’s entirely concentrating on the film.

But Phil’s body warmth and the way Phil’s bed is soft under his body, as well as the long day he’s had, he finds himself becoming victim to the heaviness of sleep.

He doesn’t know how long he’s sleeping for, or even if it was that much of a deep kind, because he wakes and Phil is leaning over him, grinning.

“Hi,” he says gently, and Dan is quick to sit up, rubbing an eye with his knuckles.

“Shit,” he chuckles. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he says as he blinks himself awake.

If it wasn’t worried about embarrassing himself in front of Phil before when he was actually conscious, then at least now he could tick it off his list of embarrassing himself when he was unconscious.

He feels embarrassed, and it must show because Phil giggles at him, and pokes him in the cheek.

“You’re all blushy,” he says softly. “You’re so cute when you’re blushy.”

Dan feels his face only growing hotter. “M’not cute,” he mutters, bringing his big hands to hide away his face.

But Phil gently pulls back each finger so Dan can see him. He always wants to be seeing him. 

“You are. You’re like, so bloody cute.”

His voice is so deep and so real, and Dan still can’t get over the fact that he’s hearing this voice in the flesh, not just a voice muffled over a phone or laptop speaker.

It’s real.

Dan realises he hasn’t said anything, and Phil is still staring at him. His face still feels hot, and he feels it growing hotter as he watches Phil’s tongue dart out to swipe across his lip.

Dan swallows thickly. When did Phil get so close to him? 

“I’m really glad you kissed me today,” Phil speaks, his voice is just above a whisper that it tickles at Dan’s skin.

Dan nods. “Me too,” he whispers back.

It feels like only they exist right now. That nothing in the world could ever take this moment from them.

“I really wanna kiss you back,” Phil admits, and his blue eyes flicker down from Dan’s eyes to his lips.

Dan bites at him bottom lip before he nods.

“I really want you to do that too.”

Phil nods, as if confirming it, before he ducks his head down and they finally meet.

Dan hums, feeling that sweet satisfaction of getting to taste those lips again, before Phil opens his mouth and gives Dan the access he’s been craving.

Dan is brave; brave enough to lick into his mouth and taste the coffees they had earlier, the popcorn they ate earlier.

He does the same, and can’t help but slip a moan when he feels Phil’s tongue inside his mouth.

All of a sudden, everything feels hot and heavy, and he can’t remember when he shuffled down to lay on his back, but he has, because Phil is on top of him, heavy and pressing and warm.

They keep kissing, like hungry hungry teenagers, and Dan never wants it to stop.

He makes a louder noise, and before he can become embarrassed by it, and pull away to apologise, Phil is swallowing it up and something similar passes past his own lips.

He can’t believe how absolutely hot it is; being the one to make Phil sound like that. He wants to do it again, and sucks at his bottom lip, testing and trying to see what buttons work the most.

It must work, because Phil keens, and it’s a noise so irresistible, it has Dan pushing his hips up and going very still.

He hadn’t realised how hard he was until he felt himself pressed up against Phil.

They both stop, and all that can be heard is their ragged breaths, coming in and out of time with one another.

“I-“ Dan stammers as he crooks his head to look down.

He can’t see much through his jeans, barely even an outline, but he can feel it on the inside where he thrums and pulses with want.

He looks up at Phil, already ready for him to roll off of him and become so disgusted with him that he kicks him out and sends him back to Wokingham.

He already feels the bubble of tears burn behind his eyes at the thought when all of a sudden, Phil is kissing him again.

“So hot,” he says between kisses. “You’re so hot.”

Dan can’t believe what’s happening, and before he can even process what Phil’s said - that he’s  _ hot _ , he feels Phil lower himself down onto him, and it becomes very obvious that Phil is enjoying it too.

Dan’s brain must short circuit and frizzle out, because he lets out a ridiculous moan, and bucks his hips wildly.

He blames himself for being so young and hormonal, but the feeling of a very hard dick - Phil’s very hard dick, pressed up against his own hard dick, has his brain going into cavemen mode.

Phil keeps on kissing him, and Dan wonders if multitasking during sex is something that comes with age and experience.

Because this is what that is, right? Sex. His dick may be trapped between two layers of jeans and cotton for it to be considered anything technically real according to society, but he knows after this he needs to, and so desperately wants to come.

It seems that Phil has the same idea, as he mouths at Dan’s jaw, right where he knows his skin blushes, and blows hot air right onto him.

“Is this okay?” He asks between pants.

Dan nods. Nods so hard his head might fall off because, yes, it’s so fucking okay.

With the granted permission, Phil wriggles his hips, bracketing Dan’s legs with his own, and brings his whole body down to lay on top of Dan.

Chest to chest, Dan laughs, and Phil does the same. He feels the vibrations there, and it floods his whole body in a different kind of warmth that feels different from being turned on. Like a deep kind of feeling. Something more real than what he’s felt before.

“Hi,” Dan whispers, unable to keep the grin off his face, no matter how ridiculous he feels he may look.

Phil looks at him, a look that Dan is new to understanding. Something he recognises as adoration.

“Hey,” Phil smiles.

They kiss again, slow and sweet and lovingly.

Dan doesn't think he’ll ever love kissing this much. He only ever wants to kiss Phil, only like this forever and ever until maybe the world stops.

Phil grinds his hips ever so slowly, and Dan has to pull away from the kissing for a moment to lean his head deep into the pillow and bite at his lip as starts burst behind his eyes.

He’d usually be concerned that he feels so far gone at such an early stage, but he really wants it now.

He lets out a high breathy moan, and Phil repeats the action again, harder this time.

His hands are situation each side of Dan’s head, and with each push, Dan can make out the small muscle in his arms above him starting to flex.

Each grind turns more frantic, becoming faster and hotter to the point where they both end up writhing around on the bed like two desperate, horny puppies, just jumping away at each other like it’s the only thing they know how to do.

His cock feels like it’s going to explode from inside his jeans, and he knows that if Phil even gets his hands near him, he’ll just come, so he pushes Phil away, momentarily.

“Sorry,” he says in a breath once he sees Phil face above him contort between confused and pained.

“I uh, I need a second, or I might… finish.”

Phil blinks at him before he laughs breathily. It feels far away from hurtful like Dan is used to, and Dan starts to laugh too.

“Me too,” Phil whispers, ducking his head down to get closer. “You drive me crazy.”

Dan scrunches his nose up and snorts. “You’re so cheesy.”

Phil pokes his tongue out at him and Dan rolls his eyes at him.

“Childish.”

Phil hums, obviously happy with himself as he kisses him again.

The kiss gets deeper, and they’re thrown back in their throes again.

Phil’s hips starts to cant forward with desire now, and Dan can already feel the wet sticky feeling against his pants where he’s leaking, knowing if he were take a look right now, it’d be nothing short of a mess.

His entire body feels like it’s on fire as he wraps his arms around Phil’s back, gripping onto him as they continue to hump so hard, the bed creaks beneath them.

Neither of them care as they continue on, and Dan lets out a gasp.

“Yeah,” he begins to babble, knowing now he’s most definitely close now. “Yeah, yeah, please, please. Fuck me. Oh god, fuck me.”

His words, only meaningless rambles of his horny, sex fuelled brain, must spur Phil on, because his thrusts become impossibly faster and the feeling of two hard dicks being rubbed up against one another, along with the friction of their clothes is what tips him over the edge.

His toes curl inside his socks, his back arches and he’s letting out a broken moan.

He doesn’t even realised he missed Phil coming until he noticed his body flop against his, his body giving out tiny little jolts of pleasure even when it’s all over. 

Phil rolls over and lets out a heavy sigh. The air smells like sweat and sex and he can feel the sensation of wet pants that’s slowly going from sexy to rather uncomfortable.

His heart is pulsing hard inside his chest, and his head feels like it might explode.

He looks to Phil who’s pressed up close to him, eyes shut, with a sleepy kind of air about him.

Dan lifts a leg and put it over Phil’s outstretched ones.

He lifts his head to look at him. “You okay?” He ask.

Dan suddenly feels like his chest might pop, like a water balloon, and it comes out in the form of tears. He feels his face crumpled, and tears blur his vision before he can see the look of absolute worry flash over Phil’s stricken face.

“Dan?” He asks, sitting up so fast, Dan’s worried he may get headrush after all of that.

“Sorry,” Dan cries, sitting up to wipe his face on the back of his hand.

He feels even more stupid now, and although crying in front of Phil might not be new with their late night emotional Skype calls, it still feels daunting in the flesh.

He feels a warm hand place over his shoulder.

“It’s okay,” Phil whispers. “It’s okay.”

His heart swells inside his chest.

“God, fuck, sorry,” he mumbles again as the tears start to cease finally.

He looks up through watery vision and sees the look Phil is giving him. His black hair is ruffled and his cheeks are slightly pink and he has the aura of pure godlikliness about him that makes him so attractive.

Because that’s what it is. Dan is attracted to boys. This boy in particular. This boy that he just got hard over and humped to almost death and came together with.

And it’s like a train of emotion slamming into him at once, as he realises he can do those things. He can moan and cry and ask Phil to fuck him, even if only in a hypothetical way for now, because this is where it exists for them. This is where it’s safe and secure and a place he can be unapologetic for wanting and enjoying those things.

“Are you okay?” Phil asks, the crease of worry between his brow doesn’t suit him well, Dan thinks.

He smiles, and lets out a wobbly laugh. “Yeah,” he sniffs. “Just happy is all.”

Phil seems to melt into relief, his shoulders drop and he smiles.

“Oh,” he says, letting out a breath. “Good, for a moment there, I thought I’d really screwed up.”

Dan looks at him as the last of these tears fall down his face, and he shakes his head.

“No,” he tells him, leaning forward to place a hand on his knee.

“It’s just,” he stops to sniff again. “I just never thought I’d get to this place.”

He looks at Phil who smile at him again, only looking slightly confused.

“What? Here?” He asks, accent heavy as he looks around his room.

Dan laughs. “No. Well, yes, but no. I never thought I would ever find sometime like me. I never thought moments like these exits, ever, especially for someone like me.”

He takes a shaky breath and looks at Phil.

“You’re a guy, Phil, and I’m a guy, and we… we had sex, right?”

Phil nods. “Yeah. In some form or another, if that’s what you want, then yeah.”

His tone is easy and welcoming, and it makes Dan melt just knowing how understanding and patient this boy is. It makes him want to crawl up and just snuggle in beside him forever and ever.

“I just…” Dan starts off, but can’t find an end of his sentence. He takes another breath as Phil waits for him. “It feels so real now. I like you, I think, and that confirms a lot of things for me.”

His smile is warm and engulfing as he looks at Dan as squeezes his shoulder. Dan does the same back to his knee.

“This is safe,” Phil whispers to him. “This is me and you, yeah?”

Dan nods, feeling new tears burn behind his eyes again.

“I really like you too, Dan. I really do. And I want this to be great for you as good as it feels for me.”

Dan sniffs, struggling to keep his tears away.

“It is good,” Dan promises him, feeling a smile stretch across his lips. “It’s really good.”

Phil beams at him, his tongue gets trapped between his tongue and Dan can’t help but stare at it and how fluttery it makes his chest feels.

“Good,” Phil says in a quiet voice as he begins to lean back in again, and Dan doesn’t need to be asked to do the same, leaning in and meeting in the middle until their lips meet in a soft, gentle kiss.

When they pull away, Dan is feeling tired again, and Phil must be too with the way his eyes drop and he rests his forehead against Dan’s.

“You’re safe here,” Phil whispers sleepily. Their hands find one another as they lace their fingers together and hold tight like they never want to let go.

“You always will be.”

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr !! @ watergator


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